ÚäÏí ÈÚÖ ÇáäßÊ ÈÇáÅäÌáíÒíÉ

ÃåáÇ Èßã .. ÚäÏí ÈÚÖ ÇáäßÊ ÈÇáÅäÌáíÒíÉ 

æåí ÎÝíÝÉ æãÖÍßÉ .. íÇÑíÊ ÊÚÌÈßã..

Hi all.. i have some english jokes

It's nice and funny .. i hope you read it





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A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. 

Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" 

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

ÇáÊÑÌãÉ:..

ãÑÇåÞÉ ßÇäÊ ÊÊßáã Úáì ÇáåÇÊÝ ÊÞÑíÈÇð áãÏÉ äÕÝ ÓÇÚÉ¡ Ëã ÃÞÝáÊ ÇáÎØ.

ÞÇá ÇáÃÈ: " æÇÇæ ¡ áÞÏ ßÇäÊ ÇáãßÇáãÉ ÞÕííÑÉ. ãä ÚÇÏÊß Åä ÊÊßáãí áãÏÉ ÓÇÚÊíä¡ ÝãÇáÐí ÍÏË¿".

ÞÇáÊ ÇáÈäÊ: " ßÇä ÇáÑÞã ÎØà " !!





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?" JACK: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do 
" TEACHER:" Of course not. 
." JACK: "Good, because I haven't done my homework 

ÇáÊÑÌãÉ:..

ÌÇß: " åá ÓÊÚÇÞÈäí Úáì ÔíÁ áã ÃÝÚáå¿ "

ÇáÇÓÊÇÐ: " ÈÇáØÈÚ áÇ "


ÌÇß: " ÌíÏ¡ ÝÃäÇ áã ÃÝÚá ÇáæÇÌÈ"




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One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.

He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" o 

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.

a "Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked.

The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

ÇáÊÑÌãÉ:..Ýí íæã ãä ÇáÃíÇã ßÇä ÈÑæÝíÓæÑ Úáã ÇáäÝÓ Ýí ÇáÌÇãÚÉ íÑÍÈ ÈØáÇÈå ÇáÌÏÏ.

æÞÝ Ýí æÓØ ÇáÕÝ æÞÇá: " ÃíÓÊØíÚ ßá ãä íÙä äÝÓå Ãäå ÛÈí ÈÃä íÞÝ ÇáÂä ÑÌÇÁð¿ "

ÈÚÏ ÏÞíÞÉ ãä ÇáÕãÊ .. æÞÝ ÔÇÈ ¡ Ëã ÞÇá:" ÃåáÇð ÓíÏí " 

ÞÇá ÇáÈÑæÝíÓæÑ: " ÅÐÇð ..ÃäÊ ÊÙä ÈÃäß Ã5ad5ad5ad¿". ÝÃÌÇÈå ÇáÔÇÈ: " ßáÇ ÓíÏí. ÝÞØ áã ÃÔà Ãä ÃÑÇß æÇÞÝÇð áæÍÏß" !!! 




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A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke? e 
B: Ok .
A: A white horse fell in the mud. 

ÇáÊÑÌãÉ:..

Ã: "åá ÊÑíÏ Ãä ÊÓãÚ äßÊÉ ÞÐÑÉ¿ "

È: " ÃÌá"

Ã: " ÍÕÇä ÃÈíÖ ÓÞØ Ýí ÇáæÍá".





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? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

ÅÐÇ ßÇä ÇáäÈÇÊííä íÃßáæä ÇáäÈÇÊ¡ ÝãÇÐÇ íÃßá ÇáÅäÓÇäíæä¿





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Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. 

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" 

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." 

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." 

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

ÇáÊÑÌãÉ:..

ÕÈíÇä ßÇäÇ íÊÔÇÌÑÇä ÚäÏãÇ ÏÎá ÇáÇÓÊÇÐ ÇáÕÝ.

ÇáÃÓÊÇÐ: : " áãÇÐÇ ÊÊÔÇÌÑÇä¿ "

ÞÇá ÃÍÏ ãäåãÇ: " áÞÏ æÌÏäÇ ÝÆÉ ÚÔÑÉ ÏæáÇÑ¡ æÞÏ ÞÑÑäÇ ÈÃä äÚØíåÇ áãä íÞæá ÃÚÙã ÇáßÐÈÉ".

ÞÇá ÇáÇÓÊÇÐ: " íÌÈ Ãä ÊÔÚÑÇ ÈÇáÎÌá ãä äÝÓíßãÇ. ÚäÏãÇ ßäÊ Ýí ãËá Óäßã ..áã Ãßä ÃÚáã ãÇåí ÇáßÐÈÉ ÃÕáÇð ".

ÝÞÇã ÇáÕÈíÇä æÃÚØæÇ ÇáÚÔÑÉ ÏæáÇÑ Åáì ÇáÇÓÊÇÐ !!

ãÔßæÑ ÇÎí

ÇáÚÝæ ÇÎÊí

YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOMTHANKS FOR YOUR KIND

Haha You're welkome too

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

ÊÔÑÝÊ ÈãÑæÑß

ÇáÚÝæ ÚÒíÒÊí äæÑÊí

ãÇÑÓí ÍÈíÈÊí äÌãÉ

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ÇáÚÝæ ãÑæÑß ÇÑæÚ

ÇáÚÝææææææææææææ ääÊÙÑ ÏÇÆãÇ ÌÏíÏß